I lived in a shed because I thought I had no choice

I hated it and I really believe it was the final straw that sent my health into a downward spiral. How did I get to that point? By not understanding my choices or that I actually had any.

My husband at the time had a romantic idea that he was missing something form his life and he hated his job – he never liked working and spent a lot of time missing work. I was 23 and pregnant with our third child, he was 28. He came home late one day and said he had joined the Army and wanted to pursue a career with the military and that he had always wanted to do be part of something bigger.

He was gone within a week. No notice really, just gone. I didn’t have a driver’s license (a story for another time) no telephone or television because we couldn’t afford it and less than $200 in the bank when he left with the promise we would immediately begin to get deposits. I ran a home daycare with seven children total around the clock, day shift, swing shift and night shift. So this little money was to support me and my two children until his military pay would kick in.

In the meantime I couldn’t deposit my checks because I didn’t have a way to get to the bank, I would have to walk to my grandmother’s pregnant with four to five children in tow to use the phone to call my parents to see if they could take me to the store and to the bank on the weekend. I couldn’t do it all with the other children so I had to stop babysitting. This meant no money. My grandmother would drive me to my doctor’s appointments and I was grateful.

Right in the middle of all this my neighbor was reported for possible child molesting – I had babysat for their two children until I had to quit. She blamed me. She threatened to beat me up as soon as I had my baby because I had ruined her life. I even called Child Protection Services to ask them if they could tell her I didn’t report them or make the call. The accusation was as surprising to me as it was to them! Their response was “no, because that would rule out someone and they might be able to find out who did it, they need to protect the person who called.” I said, I need them to know it wasn’t me, I am pregnant and afraid and they are threatening to beat me up after I have my baby. That didn’t really seem to be a problem.

I wanted to get my driver’s license, but no one would teach me, especially because I was “clumsy and pregnant” were the words most used. Still no military money came, no message or letters from my husband I felt all alone. I was alone and very scared.

My landlord came by to collect the rent I didn’t have and the neighbor told him I was harassing and threatening her and she and her husband might lose their jobs because of me. He told me I had a week to move out, but he wouldn’t make me pay for the past month’s rent. He was doing me a favor.

My dad told me I could move in with them and these were the stipulations – we had to live in his work building (Sears shed) and pay $600 a month for food and living expenses. We could come in during the day, but after dinner we had to be out of the house by 6:30pm. He was mad at my husband and my dad said more than once this should “teach him a lesson!”

I accepted the offer because I was terrified of being homeless and pregnant with two little girls. It was horrible and very trying on me and my daughters. I felt bad for them, I felt bad for me. I was more tired with this pregnancy than with my others I was really sick and I didn’t know it. This stressful time led to me being diagnosed a year later with Lupus (another story).

I allowed myself to be the victim of these choices. I was not a whiner or complainer about my situation, I just thought we were doing the best we could and were dirt poor. I was hurt that my husband had left me, and while I struggled he didn’t have to worry about being safe, having a roof over his head or having plenty of food to eat. I was also hurt because my dad’s offer to help was to put me and his granddaughters in the shed. But; in the end I chose that, I succumbed to the idea that had to be my life and that was the only choice available!

I had to reach the point that I needed to be more afraid of staying miserable than of changing my life. This is just one of my stories that I have never shared because I am past it, but I have come to understand this very important thing…

Maybe you are living in a shed. Maybe you are so far under you don’t even realize there is even an out available to you! There is I promise, there always is! I had to believe that by staying where I was – was worse than what might happen if I took my stand. Following my Soul has never failed me! What failed me was me not listening or trusting to follow it! I failed me!

Today I am quite successful, any of the people I know today are not even aware of this story, because the person I am now wouldn’t create that situation, and I refer to it as my “past life” because it was. It is not the life I have today. I destroyed my poverty and death sentence and created a life of health, happiness and prosperity. I am totally in LOVE with my life!

I encourage you to take a stand for YOU! Swallow the fear and move ahead in the direction of your Divinity. I am here if you let me become your mentor. I promise together we can move you out of your shed and into the life you really want to live, pain free and joyfully happy. I have been where you are and I am where you want to be! Are you ready to let me help you change your story and put your current situation in your past? I can teach you how to let your Soul be your beacon and how to move through the fear of change to embrace what you truly desire, a better life!